Forgiveness and interaction

What is forgiveness? As I prepare to go to Northern Ireland for the summer to begin my thesis research, I have to start exploring the concept of forgiveness more fully. Here's the wikipedia definition, for what it's worth:

Forgiveness is the mental and/or spiritual process of ceasing to feel resentment, indignation or anger against another person for a perceived offense, difference or mistake, or ceasing to demand punishment or restitution^[1]. This definition, however, is subject to much philosophical critique. Forgiveness may be considered simply in terms of the person who forgives, in terms of the person forgiven and/or in terms of the relationship between the forgiver and the person forgiven. In some contexts, it may be granted without any expectation of compensation, and without any response on the part of the offender (for example, one may forgive a person who is dead). In practical terms, it may be necessary for the offender to offer some form of acknowledgment, apology, and/or restitution, or even just ask for forgiveness, in order for the wronged person to believe they are able to forgive.^[1]

Most world religions include teachings on the nature of forgiveness, and many of these teachings provide an underlying basis for many varying modern day traditions and practices of forgiveness. However, throughout the ages, philosophers have studied forgiveness apart from religion. In addition, as in other areas of human inquiry, science is beginning to question religious concepts of forgiveness. Psychology, sociology and medicine are among the scientific disciplines researching forgiveness or aspects of forgiveness. Instances of teachings on forgiveness such as the parable of the Prodigal Son^[2] and Mahatma Gandhi's forgiveness of his assassin as he lay dying, are well known instances of such teachings and practices of forgiveness. Some religious doctrines or philosophies place greater emphasis on the need for humans to find some sort of divine forgiveness for their own shortcomings, others place greater emphasis on the need for humans to practice forgiveness between one another, yet others make little or no distinction between human and/or divine forgiveness.

I recently had a conversation with a woman who managed a hospice, and she said that forgiveness is a critical component of the dying process. People often face issues of forgiveness in their family members or close friends, before they can let go and allow themselves to accept death. This process happens not only to the person who is dying but also to those who remain behind.

My thesis is going to explore healing, forgiveness and the design tools that can aid in these processes. I am particularly interested in whether interactive components can help with the healing process - for example, in Maya Lin's Vietnam Memorial, there are tiny holes next to each name in the wall. Over the years, flowers, notes and other mementos have been tucked into these holes. These items have been collected and are now displayed in an adjoining museum. Is the act of placing objects on the site part of the healing process? This reminds me of roadside memorials and the old Gullah graves of coastal SC and GA. Objects in these situations become vehicles for remembrance and are elevated beyond object status, and the ceremonial placement of them is integral to this.